Another week has gone by in Donald Trump's America, and it's becoming crystal clear that this administration learned some serious lessons about being proactive. Trump's last cabinet was filled with plenty of loyalists, but stacked among the sycophants were a who's who of established politicians and civil servants keen to serve the country, not the president. This time around, Trump's team is axing everyone who won't get in line. From independent watchdogs and nuclear specialists to intelligence officials and park rangers, it's "my way or the highway" in Trump land — but with Elon Musk around, it's hard to know just whose way we’re going.

One thing's for sure: the billionaires are all on board. They're quietly axing DEI programs and not-so-quietly transforming papers like the Washington Post into their own personal propaganda machines as the dollar signs shine through their soulless eyes. At least we have Americans like Adam Kinzinger to take up the mantle of speaking truth to power. Just like long-time Musk hater Azealia Banks, he's more than willing to stoop to Trump's childish level. It's truly magical to have someone like Kinzinger say, "Hey, so this is insane," as Trump employs actual podcasters to work for the FBI and his right-hand men throw Nazi salute after Nazi salute just to test the waters.

Canadians across the border are fed up with Trump's constant taunts, refusing to buy American and even pushing for the government to nix Musk's citizenship. Allies around the world are showing they have no tolerance this time around, with French President Emmanuel Macron calling out Trump's lies on live television, prompting the septuagenarian to pout like a schoolboy. But don't feel bad for 'ol Don. History has shown that the man doesn't understand metaphors. Despite the valiant attempts of the U.S. Army Corps to convey the heavy-handed messages of Les Misérables, Trump was as impacted as a Republican asked to show empathy toward trans people.

But hey, at least eggs are only $20 a carton.

Pot, meet Kettle. You’re now heading the FBI together

It is said that Kash Patel, the new Trump-appointed FBI director who will also head the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF), intended not to break FBI tradition — and trample on basic good judgment — when he promised to appoint someone with experience (unlike himself) within the Bureau to be its deputy director.

Psych! As has been the norm in this second administration, instead of someone with proven competence, we got a partisan Trump loyalist who is all too happy parroting MAGA conspiracy theories and gets way too aroused by the sheer idea of absolute power: Dan Bongino.

Exactly what we needed: more one-track MAGA militants in positions of power in the American government, whose moral compasses guide them wherever Trump’s chubby orange finger points. In a 2021 New Yorker profile that now reads in a painfully ironic manner, Evan Osnos writes: “Pete Hegseth, a fellow Fox News host who served in the National Guard, told me, “I carried a rifle in the military, and now I get to serve in information warfare.” Bongino, he added, “is one of our generals.”

As another Trump “general,” Bongino has dedicated the past years to pushing conspiracy theories about the “anti-Trump” “deep state” and the 2020 election being “rigged.” There is no escape from the heavy irony that is the podcaster’s book, Follow the Money, which feels like a discount, propaganda-based, misinformation-ridden, far-right version of the invaluable Manufacture of Consent. Bongino’s big boss is a billionaire who is hand-in-hand with the world’s richest man so, I guess we only “follow the money” if we can someway, somehow, blame it on Democrats, minorities, and now, Ukraine too.

Bongino and Patel go together like Beavis and Butt-Head, the Mad Hatter and the March Hare, or SpongeBob and Patrick. You can count on both to ask “How far?” upon being commanded to overstep the bounds of legality for the sake of the Trump agenda.

We’re one month and two three Nazi salutes into the Trump administration

It seems those Democrat challenges for Republicans to indulge in — as the right sees it — Elon Musk's unfortunate and enthusiastic wave have really hit home. Average Trump-thumpers across the country are throwing out Sieg Heil salutes to prove it's "no big deal" only to lose their jobs, but Trump's cronies miraculously weasel out of consequences every time. Steve Bannon is just the latest henchman to test the boundaries of tolerance by throwing out a half-hearted Nazi salute while speaking at the 2025 Conservative Political Action Conference, signaling to the world that fascism is A-OK in America.

Two Trump allies throwing out the notorious salute isn't many, but any red-blooded American knows that the only thing worse than one Nazi is two, and actually, let’s make that three. Mexican actor Eduardo Verástegui decided to toss one out at CPAC, too, saying he was “going to join the Elon Musk and President Trump’s movement. My heart goes out to all of you.” For anyone on the fence about Nazi salutes, they're like an infection, one best wiped out — or punched right in the face if my days of frequenting punk rock shows are any guideline.

Bannon tossed out his own salute near the end of his speech after calling for Trump to make an unconstitutional bid for a third term and telling MAGA to "fight." The human pimple didn't seem to relish throwing Hitler's favorite hello as much as Musk, which might actually make it worse. If you're going to sell out your country to one of the most anti-American movements this nation has ever seen, at least do it with your chest.

The audience may have been less enthusiastic for Bannon than it was for the Tesla CEO, but acceptance of the movement and everything it stands for is beyond evident. We'd like to remind our readers of the Paradox of Tolerance here: if we tolerate those who are intolerant, we risk enabling them. And if those intolerant people ever make it to positions of power, they will obliterate those they oppose. If you need any evidence, 1930s Germany is a great place to start.

Trump heard ‘hands-on diplomacy’ and took it literally

Donald Trump’s hands have made yet another unsanctioned appearance. Let’s be honest: the septuagenarian president’s grasps have never been associated with tact or intelligence. Whether it’s scrawling his name on nonsensical executive orders or latching onto whatever he feels entitled to, his movements seem driven by impulse alone.

During a recent meeting about Russia’s invasion of Ukraine (which the U.S. president thinks is entirely Ukraine’s fault), Trump decided that the best way to show Emmanuel Macron who’s boss was to grab his knee. We’re talking a full-on, sweaty, creepy clutch. After the French President successfully “liberated” his knee, Trump followed up with a condescending little knee slap, all while obsessively clinging to Macron’s hand for an uncomfortably long time. Somewhere in that moment, you just know Macron was thinking, “How much wine am I going to need to erase this from my memory?”

Macron deserves a round of applause not only for surviving this creeptastic knee-scapade but also for publicly schooling Trump on Ukraine. He effortlessly debunked Trump’s financial fairy tales about Europe’s aid contributions while the president sat there nodding like he understood a single word. This is the same man who once claimed he’s a genius because his uncle went to MIT (yes, that’s an actual thing he said). Clearly, when faced with someone who actually knows what they’re talking about, Trump’s only move is to reach for the nearest body part like a socially stunted weirdo. But hey, at least he’s probably clapping like a seal now that The Washington Post will finally start saying nice things about him.

Elon Musk adds yet another position to his resume: deadbeat dad

Nothing says family values like trying to stiff your kid's mom out of child support payments. In an ode to deadbeat dads the world over, the wealthiest man on the planet, Elon Musk, is trying to lowball one of his bazillion baby mamas — one of whom just so happens to have mothered three of his 13 children. That's right, a man worth $400 billion is currently fighting Canadian singer Grimes over child support payments. Tactful!

Musk firmly believes that he should only pay $2,760 a month for the three children the couple share, including X Æ A-Xii, who he's been toting around with him while he does (or maybe doesn't) head downward DOGE. The man makes more than a million dollars an hour, yet he's pinching pennies instead of trying to set his kids up with a good life. We're sure Grimes is more than capable of paying for their kids on her own, but with a net worth somewhere around 3 million, Musk could match her life savings by passing on 3 hours of work.

The deplorable behavior has dredged up a long-forgotten feud between the former couple and Azealia Banks, in which she threw a number of wild accusations at Musk. Truly a rapper aiming for Eminem levels of shade, Banks accused Musk of being a "beta male," having hair plugs, said he was addicted to ketamine, was a baby when he dropped acid, and accused the couple of trying some "weird threesome sex sh**." But it was a later conversation Banks shared online that revolved around Musk supposedly kidnapping of a child he and Grimes share that sparked a reexamination of Banks' rant.

Grimes recently took to Musk's own social media platform, X, to beg the man to speak with her concerning the health of their youngest child, Tau Techno Mechanicus. Grimes asserts that she had no choice and that her former paramour is dodging every other form of communication. It's not the first time Musk has shown little care for his own brood. He proclaimed one of his children dead after she came out as trans, prompting his daughter Vivian Jenna Wilson to come forward to dispel the exaggerations surrounding her death.

Between his deplorable behavior and Trump's penchant for pissing off Canadians, our neighbors to the north have had it. More than 200K Canadians and counting have signed a petition asking their government to nullify the Tesla mogul's citizenship. Like the paragon of maturity he is, Musk responded by saying Canada wasn't even a real country before deleting the tweet. Canada does have the ability to strip anyone of their citizen status, especially if there are concerns around national security.

The outrage at Musk's governmental involvement is strongest within the our own government, of course. Hundreds of government employees are facing a frightening future where their departments no longer exist. Many report that they learned of the downsizing through emails or group messages, some of which demanded they defend their jobs by listing everything they accomplished. Musk later said the email was a ruse, but the message has prompted many civil servants to tender their resignation in protest. 21 people who served DOGE joined the masses, implying that those left were "political ideologues" intent on furthering Trump's agenda.

Musk is working to cut Social Security and Medicare while Trump dismantles the Department of Education. They hand-feed MAGA enthusiasts line after line about the nuclear family and the importance of protecting children while they cut government spending to literally take food out of the mouths of children who need SNAP benefits to survive. But hey, at least by trying to pay less than the bare minimum to his own flesh and blood, we see that Elon cares equally little about all kids, not just the poor ones.

Adam Kinzinger doesn’t mince words with repeated slapdowns of ‘sissy’ Trump and ‘garbage’ Musk

There are few figures pushing back against Donald Trump and his ilk with the fervor of former Republican Representative Adam Kinzinger. The 46-year-old former lieutenant has been using Trump’s own political stylings against him by employing similarly juvenile speech in warranted attacks against the president, and needless to say, it’s a beautiful thing to behold. 

Look, I get it, we want mature statesman and a professional exchange of ideas, but we are literally never getting that under Trump. So instead of letting him stomp around like Godzilla doing his best Regina George impression, Kinzinger is clapping back in a language Trump understands. 

Over the last few weeks, Kinzinger has gone after “sissy” Trump for making concessions to leaders like Russian President Vladimir Putin, and gave him an accurate new nickname — and some stellar advice — as Trump was celebrating the appointment of a podcaster to the FBI. Perhaps his best smack-down of the week came after Trump shared that absolutely insane AI-generated fever dream depicting a strangely woke “Trump Gaza.”. After the video hit social media and baffled users across the globe, Kinzinger aptly noted how “absolutely psycho” Trump is, and eviscerated the 78-year-old when he added that the day the supposedly religious Trump “meets God will not be pleasant for him.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Donald Trump, who has apparently never seen Les Misérables, is oblivious to the pro-level trolling going down right in front of him

Trump is an oblivious man — that couldn’t be clearer after nearly a decade of watching the cranially-inept septuagenarian fumble his way across the national stage — but that’s never been on as broad a display as it was in late February. At the 2025 Governor’s Ball, the U.S. Army Chorus delivered a musical slap-down for the history books and Trump had absolutely no idea despite being two feet away.

An iconic, consequential decision led a few dozen performers to belt out a stirring mash-up of “Do You Hear the People Sing?” and “One Day More,” a powerful pair of Les Misérables favorites that spoke volumes in this heated political moment. The beloved musical tells a devastatingly beautiful story of love, loss, and most importantly revolution, and there’s not a person out there — save two — who missed the heavy-handed message included in the promise that “the blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of France.”

That’s right: Donny boy and Melania seem to have some familiar knowledge gaps where musical theatre is concerned, as the true (and rather obvious) meaning behind these songs — and the entire musical — soared so far over their heads, it’s at risk of causing another aviation disaster. They’re completely oblivious to the very clear message hand-delivered in that performance — namely that the American people will never stop fighting against any kind of oppressive government — but at least the rest of us got a chance to enjoy the gorgeously packaged musical rebuke. That’s about as tasty as a loaf of bread, right?