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Welcome to week three in Donald Trump's chaotic America, where no decision is permanent and few politicians are qualified.

Trump and his base have been raging against DEI for months, firmly fingering it as the root of America's problems. While his administration swears that diversity, equity, and inclusion have eroded the foundations of our government, he's stacked his cabinet with so many unqualified incompetents that we have to assume he only takes resumes from the "rejects" pile. It'll be a fascinating four years as his Kabinet of Korrupt Kooks speed-runs Anthony Scarmucci's record for shortest time in office.

Showing off his "true genius," Trump has decided that the U.S. should simply "take over" Gaza, even though essentially everyone but Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu thinks it's a bad idea. But if it means the rich have somewhere else they don't have to pay taxes, it's almost certain to reach fruition. Upping the bad decision ante, the president is also suing CBS for $10 billion (yes, you read that correctly) for how the network edited Kamala Harris' 60 Minutes interview. We aren't sure what's making our eyes water more — the absurd amount of money he’s demanding, or the tears of laughter over the demise of Fox News (we're devastated for you, Jesse Watters.)

Meanwhile, perpetual screecher Marjorie Taylor Greene is gushing about her favorite boss on X, but her word choice is way too close to how pet parents gush about their elderly dogs on an energetic day. (Sure, that poochie dodders sometimes, but boy, is she "healthy" and "sharp" today!) When she's not scrawling "Mrs. Marjorie Trump" in her diary, the Georgian is happily accusing the left of trying to plan an insurrection — something she suddenly has a problem with despite January 6 now being a household name and date.

Democrats — and even some RINO Republicans — aren't taking Trump's nonsense lying down. Minority leader Hakeem Jeffries has been flexing his chops, proving he was the right person to succeed Nancy Pelosi, and right alongside him is former congressman Adam Kinzinger, who's willing to pick fights with Trump and Musk even though he left office in 2023. It just goes to show that even when everything seems to be going wrong, at the end of the day there are still plenty of people willing to fight for what’s right — and thank goodness for that.

Tim Walz says what we're all thinking about President Elon Musk

Much has been said about the tragedy of Kamala Harris not making it into the White House, but let's also extend a sympathetic hug to her running mate Tim Walz, who was likewise denied the chance to spend four years as vice president/America's slightly boring if benign uncle.

Technically, he's been supplanted by JD Vance, but, come on ⏤ we all know who Trump's real number two is. It's the Evil Emperor of X himself, everyone's least-favorite Iron Man 2 guest star, the high-falutin', Twitter-pollutin', Nazi-salutin' Elon Musk. This week, Walz reminded us all how much saner things could have been if he and Harris were in power by offering his scathing take on Trump's administration thus far ⏤ in the form of a sassy clapback against Musk on his own platform, no less.

"Elon Musk is a terrible president," Walz tweeted, which manages to be a glorious dig at both President Musk and Whatever Trump Is in one beautifully biting six-word package. Tim, buddy: where was this kind of sass during the election campaign? Not to pin all this on you, but maybe — just maybe — if you had displayed a little more of this energy last fall, Andy Samberg wouldn't have lost out on a recurring SNL gig for the next four years. Just sayin’.

Donald Trump's tyrannical tantrum continues with fresh threats aimed at Gaza and 60 Minutes

No one can throw a fit quite like Donald J. Trump, and he’s making sure no one forgets it as he pursues dual attacks against very different targets. The first is 60 Minutes, and by extension CBS News, which Trump aims to sue for an eye-watering $10 billion. He’s accusing the network of trying to “mislead the public” with its 2024 coverage of Kamala Harris ⏤ never mind that he declined his own invitation to appear on the show. If he succeeds in his brazen attack on the First Amendment, it’ll be bad news for us all — not the least of whom being his own crazed cronies over at Fox News.

But it's Trump’s threats toward Gaza that are really stirring up ire across the globe following the brainless Commander-in-Chief’s assertion that the United States should simply “take over” Gaza. He and his wealthy, soulless peers see the area as a lucrative business opportunity and are not overly concerned about the more than 2 million people who live there. After all, they can just shift them out (who cares about the “where”), claim their land (that they have exactly zero right to), and reshape it into something that further enriches them, right? But yeah, Kamala Harris was too “pro-Israel.”

MTG’s week is brought to you by hypocrisy and whatever is in Trump’s Diet Coke

Marjorie Taylor Greene is having a week. First, she got all hot over Donald Trump’s big ol’ Big Mac-fueled dad bod and praised his “hot” energy (gross). According to her, Trump is “healthy, sharp, and incredibly wise,” which is just... what? Are we talking about the same guy who thinks windmills cause cancer? The same guy who thinks exercise will deplete his “finite energy” like he’s a 1980s Duracell battery? Look, I’m not here to body-shame anyone, but this is a man whose entire exercise regimen is limited to waddling across a golf course and maybe leaning over to pick up a fallen Diet Coke can. If that’s Marjorie’s picture of health, I’d hate to see what she thinks unhealthy looks like.

Greene also claimed that Trump has “more energy than everyone around him.” Let’s not confuse energy with volume, babe. If shouting made you healthy, every toddler in the middle of a tantrum would be a fitness icon.

Just when you thought Marj might take a breather from embarrassing herself, she accused Democrats of inciting an insurrection. The conspiracy queen posted a clip of New Jersey Democrat LaMonica McIver shouting, “Shut down the Senate. We are at war,” and immediately clutched her pearls like she’d just witnessed treason. “This sounds like a call for insurrection to me,” she declared. Does she hear herself? She has the gall to act all high and mighty about “insurrection” while still defending January 6. When MAGAs are smashing windows and smearing God-knows-what on the walls of the Capitol, it’s just “patriots expressing their First Amendment rights.” But when Democrats speak truth to power? THE AUDACITY. All Greene’s really doing here is shining a giant spotlight on her own hypocrisy, of course, which we’re all terribly used to at this point. If only she knew how to, you know, spend her time doing things that would actually benefit her constituents. Could you imagine?

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Trump appointee calls for ‘competent white men’ to run the government. Who’s going to tell him?

Proving why DEI is one of the best things to ever happen in this country, Trump's appointee as the State Department’s acting undersecretary for public diplomacy and public affairs takes the white nationalist cake. Literally.

Darren Beattie, a conservative journalist and a former speechwriter for Trump, is now at the center of our nation's foreign policy and security. Beattie served in Trump's 2016 administration, but was let go in 2018 after it was discovered that he had ties to white nationalism. Not only that, but he's the absolute worst kind of conservative man there is. He believes that "competent white men must be in charge if you want things to work" and says that the only reason women and minorities get positions is due to the nation "coddling [their] feelings." Okay, neckbeard.

Beattie's so keen on people bending the knee to Trump, it almost feels like he's reenacting an episode of Game of Thrones. Unsurprisingly, he's got that "color line" so deeply ingrained in his psyche that he actually believes Black Americans are less than their white counterparts and that BLM activists need to "take a knee to MAGA." Ew.

As usual, Jasmine Crockett isn't letting his appointment go by unchallenged. "If you are competent, you are not concerned, " she said, calling out Beattie's whining during a CNN interview. "The only people that are crying are the mediocre white boys that have been beaten out by people that historically have had to work so, so much harder.” Preach, Crocks. (And please never stop, we need you.)

Adam Kinzinger urges Donald Trump to ‘shush, child’ as car prices skyrocket and Elon Musk plays pretend with the U.S. government

Donald Trump has made bad decision after bad decision across his 78 years on this Earth, but easily the worst was tapping barrel-chested egomaniac Elon Musk as his left-hand man. His see-sawing on tariffs has seen costs fluctuate massively, rising the cost of cars and eggs alike substantially, but thankfully former Representative Adam Kinzinger is here to give Trump some timely advice.

That advice essentially boiled down to “hush up, fool” following Trump’s extremely un-presidential reaction to the D.C. plane collision, but Trump was predictably too busy belting out blame to hear it. As he continues to seize every opportunity to make the worst possible decisions, common sense beast and true intellectual Kinzinger is out-classing him at every turn. He gave America some stellar advice on how to push back on Musk’s brazen siege on the treasury department and even took time to deliver a dire warning about what Trump’s set to target next. Now that’s real leadership. (Wake up, Donny. This will be on the test.)

Republicans hate DEI unless it benefits them, and right now it's the ultimate boogeyman

It’s no secret that Trump and his MAGA allies are in an all-out war against diversity, equity, and inclusion. DEI initiatives, they maintain, are the reason everything in America is terrible, and Trump has pledged to remove them at all levels as a result. He's pushing for major retailers to pull back on using it in hiring practices, government agencies from making sure they have balanced staff, and has generally torn down the foundation of "treat others as you want to be treated" that Sesame Street has been building for generations.

There’s no doubt that most minorities in powerful positions had to work 10 times harder than their white colleagues to get where they are today. Let’s examine Hakeem Jeffries and Lauren Boebert, for example. One has multiple degrees, clerked for a supreme court judge, and busted his buns as a lawyer for years. The other owned a gun-themed restaurant, got caught groping her boyfriend in public, and has a son who breaks into cars and steals things. Yet Boebert is somehow viewed as Jeffries’ equal? Sweetie.

The 47th president took to social media to blast DEI and scream "NOT GOOD" after a fatal crash between a Black Hawk helicopter and a passenger plane last week. (What a helpful response, Donald.) While Trump placed blame on basically everyone who isn't a white Republican for the collision, many are connecting the tragedy back to his administration's rapid dismantling of the Federal Aviation Administration. Jeffries has been incredibly vocal in the last few weeks as he combats Trump's chaotic movements, and the House Minority Leader wasn't about to let that one slide.

He blasted the president on social media and released a 10-step plan to help address Americans' pleas for Democrats to do something. From placing safeguards aimed at keeping Musk out of sensitive data like Medicare to keeping tabs on the recently released insurrectionists, Jeffries laid out a blueprint to help his constituents sleep at night. While some described the policy points as a "master class of political theater," others felt it was too little, too late. We'd like to remind Americans that while it's Democrats’ job to help run the government, it's Republicans who are currently tearing it down, so telling Dems to "stop them" is a lot less effective than telling Republicans to stop what they’re doing. Additionally, let’s remind ourselves that at the end of the day, we all want the same thing: a president who’s going to care about us and take care of us. Oh yeah, and affordable freaking eggs.