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It's been a doozy of a week for those of us in the U.S. of A., especially as Republican leaders like Marjorie Taylor Greene emphasize the us and completely ignore the you. It's nothing new from MAGA Marj as Donald Trump officially finishes his second week in office — but man, does it feel like two years. Our new commander-in-chief spent the week upending vital services in the name of saving a few bucks and didn't even have the decency to address the cuts to school lunches, SNAP, or dozens of other frozen human services. Rude.

At least some Democratic leaders are showing that they have backbones and a fighting spirit in the face of Trump's aggressive federal spending cuts and crimes against humanity. Nancy Pelosi, for one, crawled out of the grave to comment on his nefarious dealings along with Chuck Schumer, but it's Tim Walz and Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker who took the anti-authoritarian cake.

Meanwhile, Trump's far too busy directing new border czar Tom Homan to spit in the face of human decency. Homan is more than content showing the world that he's the one who’s less than human, happily marching immigrants to horrific holding cells that previously housed terrorists at the notorious Guantanamo Bay. Homan and the many MAGA supporters might be rallying behind cries that no one is above the law, but we have to wonder how they say it with a straight face. After all, Trump is right there.

Homan's not the only MAGA who's content with disposing of his humanity to please Trump. We don't normally share TikToks in our newsletter, but when the most infuriating and racist video out there crosses one’s screen, it's simply got to be shared. Would you believe that after a nasty rant normalizing fascist language to dehumanize the opposition, a certain blue-haired bimbo is suddenly awash with concern about how we treat one another now that the inhumane treatment is being directed at her? Somebody bust out the world's smallest violin.

Elsewhere in the pre-apocalyptic States, Fox News' Jesse Watters is more than happy to keep burying truth for power. Rather than report the news, the anchor recently spent valuable air time absolutely melting down over the idea that men go grocery shopping with their wives, proving once again why MAGA minions are the dumbest people alive (and his mother was right to disinvite him from Thanksgiving dinner). We wish we could say these people get smarter with age, but then we'd be lying to you ⏤ and we'll leave that to the MAGAs.

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Marjorie Taylor Greene wants you to know that Democrats are not ‘real Americans,’ but they are arsonists who burned down LA

What must it be like in Marjorie Taylor Greene's brain? A terrifying prospect to consider, I know. We can only assume that MTG's inner mindscape is like a Lynchian nightmare, only with more actual lynching. At the very least, we can guess that whenever she witnesses something that upsets her, the tiny intolerant Inside Out people in her head tell her that it's definitely not her fault, but it is the left's. Rainy day? Damn Democrats. Stubbed her toe? Biden moved the table.

Greene's certainly been blaming everything on the opposing political side this week (and always), as she's maintained that Democrats are the only ones responsible for the LA fires. Likewise, Marjorie even revealed her supervillain origin story, saying that she was "never involved in politics" until she marched into Congress one day because she was "fed up" with how things were. Honestly, claiming that Democrats are to blame for Marjorie herself might be her lowest blow yet.

The MAGA Medusa didn't stop there, though, as in her most galling bit of weekly gasbaggery, she hounded a reporter who dared to ask her what she thought of the Jan. 6 insurrectionists getting pardoned. In a video that's more unpleasant to watch than a Terrifier film, MTG yells, curses, and rants at the poor journalist, arguing that she should be asking about Biden pardoning "rapers, killers, and murderers." According to the all-knowing Greene, the "Democrat-run networks... don't give a s*** about real Americans." Hang on, now anyone who didn't vote for Trump isn't a "real American?" Good luck climbing uphill on that slippery slope, Marj.

Tyrant Trump sheds all illusions with launch of Project 2025 federal loan freeze, enraging Dems and anyone with sense

Trump sent much of the U.S. into chaos on Tuesday after his administration released a memo that it would immediately pause all federal loans and grants. His administration, in all its wisdom, announced the pause with few guidelines and even fewer good reasons, sending Democratic Representatives into a panic alongside their affected constituents. Nothing says Trump like stiffing those you owe money, am I right? And nothing says fascism like bypassing those ever-important checks and balances to force through an agenda that hurts the most vulnerable populations. The memo sent off alarm bells for all of us who actually read that colossal Project 2025 manifesto, including Democrats like Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, and a good 70% of the country.

Basically everyone who has ever met a family that depends on benefits to survive was quick to blast the decision for the garbage it is. The public outcry and governmental chaos that ensued prompted the administration to roll back the memo less than 24 hours later, but the aggressive move has left the stink of authoritarianism hanging in the air. Trump and his cronies swear that everyone is overreacting to the temporary halt and that their order would never have impacted SNAP, Medicaid, or a number of other life-saving federal programs. Meanwhile, Veep of our dreams Tim Walz ⏤ alongside 22 other Democratic leaders ⏤ is already preparing to take this order to court.

The lawsuits bring little comfort to Americans who want their leaders to do more. At the end of the day, those few who are standing up to Trump are doing it legally — which is more than we can say for our commander-in-chief.

‘Keep it legal,’ warns Trump’s border czar as his boss turns the Constitution into confetti

Under the dubious leadership of Donald Trump, the U.S. has witnessed a staggering 2,600 immigration arrests so far. And who better to preach law and order than Trump’s own border czar Tom Homan, who insists, with a straight face, that violating laws is not acceptable in America. Yes, Homan and his ilk are out there condemning migrants for simply existing, labeling them as "criminals" and subjecting them to some of the most inhumane treatment imaginable. Meanwhile, his boss commits actual crimes and faces zero consequences. The cognitive dissonance is quite literally astounding.

On May 30, 2024, Trump made history by being found guilty of felony charges related to covering up his extramarital escapades. He also was hit with a $5 million judgment in the sexual assault and defamation case involving E. Jean Carroll, topped off by an eye-watering $83.3 million verdict in another defamation lawsuit. Bravo, Mr. President! Breaking records and laws — all in a day’s work for the first U.S. president with a “criminal” title to his name.

Actual infant Donald Trump reminds us why he’s worse than schoolchildren as he publicly decrees a CNN legend a ‘major loser’

Donald Trump fancies himself an insult connoisseur, and with unique, clever choices like “loser,” “crazy,” and of course “liddle,” populating his arsenal, it’s little wonder why. After all, what mind outside of an elementary school playground could think up such devastating denouncements? 

Since Trump is determined to be the most juvenile politician since Queen Amidala — who still outmatches him in poise, intelligence, and statesmanship — he’s got to keep the insults flowing, and the latest was aimed at longtime critic Jim Acosta. The former CNN anchor left the network this week, and Trump — who Acosta famously enraged during his time covering the White House — was quick to comment on the “major loser” he loves to hate. He assured readers that Acosta will “fail no matter where he ends up,” something Acosta is no doubt eager to prove wrong with the launch of his next project: The Jim Acosta Show.

In breaking news, Jesse Watters discovers the existence of husbands in grocery stores and fears the apocalypse is nigh

As if constantly emerging from prehistoric caves, Fox News seems perpetually stunned by the evolving world around it. The network is currently having a meltdown over the news that former Vice President Kamala Harris was spotted grocery shopping with her husband, Doug Emhoff. “What kind of husband goes grocery shopping with his wife?,” asked host Jesse Watters, utterly flabbergasted. This is allegedly a man with a working hippocampus.

Before his marriage, one can only wonder how Watters managed to feed himself. Did he subsist on a diet of manly-man protein shakes and raw meat, hunted and gathered by his own manly-man hands? Or perhaps he simply waited for manna to fall from the heavens. It’s a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, especially considering his mom doesn’t seem keen on having him raid her fridge anymore. Maybe she’s tired of explaining to him where the milk comes from every time he visits. Poor Jesse.

Unfortunately, Watters' antediluvian views on masculinity don't stop at the grocery store aisle. He has famously — or rather infamously — suggested that a vote for a female Democrat could lead to spontaneous gender transformation. “I heard the scientists say the other day that when a man votes for a woman, he actually transitions into a woman,” he said. It’s the same sort of intellectual gem that aligns perfectly with the GOP’s quest to shove gender roles back into the Stone Age.

Gasbag Greene and Tangerine Trump team up to make the Gulf of America a lip-curling reality

The only thing less American than those fire-starting Democrats rests just south of the American border — and no, we aren't talking about Mexico and its inhabitants. As usual, MAGA is focusing on only the most important issues for Trump's nauseating second term in office. In between aggressive budgetary cuts that may or may not demonstrably impact American citizens and bombastic press conferences, the president found time to bully Google into changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico. Sure, the body of water has always been known as the Gulf of Mexico, but why shouldn't we change every legal map in circulation if it feeds the Republican ego?

Marjorie Taylor Greene is, as always, more than happy to back Trump's latest bizarre fixation. The bleached blond gladly flexed her political chops, immediately submitting a bill to rename the body of water the U.S. shares with two other countries. It fits perfectly with her other bills, as she's successfully renamed multiple high-stakes projects in Georgia like her local post office, another post office, and would you believe it, yet another post office, along with a VA hospital. Say what you will about her, but Marj is really something when it comes to inane bureaucratic paperwork. You know, Make America Great Again or whatever.

Reprehensible woman gives blue a bad name when she calls immigrants ‘inhuman’ in vile rant

The days after Donald Trump retook office have been a harsh reminder of the MAGA movement’s ugly, rotten core. Emboldened by their president’s rampant criminality and urged on by his pardon of the Jan. 6 insurrectionists, truly hateful people suddenly feel welcome to share their toxic opinions with the world, flooding social media with outrageous, absurd, and disgusting hot takes. But few are as utterly morally absent as those of a blue-haired bigot going viral this week. (Even Adam Kinzinger knows trash when he sees it.)

A woman apparently lacking a soul took to TikTok to revel in the recent spate of ICE raids tearing across the nation. Not only does this vacuous viper refer to immigrants as “inhuman,” but she spits in the face of separated families. The empty-eyed hobgoblin even had the gall to complain that Jan. 6ers were likewise separated from their families — never mind that they tried to overthrow democracy — and promptly earned herself the harsh condemnation of the internet. Thankfully there’s a little thing called karma, and it gave the Cookie Monster wannabe a kick in the pants when her employer decided to fire her sorry ass in light of the hateful comments. See? Sometimes actions do have consequences. Now if only they could apply to the toddler at the top of the totem pole.